I know that lots of people don't want to form committed relationships--to another person, to education, to a vocation-- until they "know themselves", and maybe that works out for them. But for me, I always accepted that I could only progress so far toward self actualization by myself. I need the influence of outside factors to push me in ways I never could have thought of in order to grow in ways I never knew I needed growth.
I especially recognized that there are a lot of potentialities that can only be realized through the influence of other people in my life, particularly a "significant other". What surprises me are the forms my growth is taking. I found I'm finally developing my personal "living" style. I've felt pretty assured of my style of dress as I've had sole control of my wardrobe since about age 14, but since I've never had to opportunity to actually furnish an entire living space from start to finish.
When Future Husband (FH) and I started building our gift registries, I realized recently that I had no idea what I liked and wanted. The only thing we got nailed down our first trip to Bed Bath & Beyond was our casual silverware (He's a spoon person, I'm a fork person. They have to fit just right in the hand. I'm sure passers-by were wondering why we kept manhandling all the displays).
We persevered (or rather, I muddled on while FH exercised great patience) and finally found all our essentials. That's a feat because I'm easily paralyzed by too many options or equal options (another recent self-discovery). Seeing all the different tools I could use to stir noodles was overwhelming. But I learned to remind myself whether or not the decision actually mattered, and if it didn't it was OK to blindly choose one and move on, or I'd defer to FH who was blessed with plenty of decision. After that breakthrough, it was way easier.
It's been interesting to see my taste emerge. Turns out I like very simple "building block" pieces (ie furniture, dishes) so that they can go with anything else I decide to bring home when my fancies change. It's much easier to change out dishtowels on a whim than a couch. No crazy dishes with spots and flowers for me. I feel that anything with too-specific a color palette or design will limit my other decor options.
But sometimes I can get carried away with simplicity; if I didn't have FH to remind me to have variety, I'd get everything in neutrals and forget I can use patterns and details. Case in point: wedding announcements. If I designed them all by myself, they'd be white cards with black Calibri text. Maybe a plain, single-color line border. Thankfully, I had FH to override my boring-ness and infuse a little personality into the project. Don't get too excited, they're still pretty simple. But I like them, and they fit us.
When Future Husband (FH) and I started building our gift registries, I realized recently that I had no idea what I liked and wanted. The only thing we got nailed down our first trip to Bed Bath & Beyond was our casual silverware (He's a spoon person, I'm a fork person. They have to fit just right in the hand. I'm sure passers-by were wondering why we kept manhandling all the displays).
We persevered (or rather, I muddled on while FH exercised great patience) and finally found all our essentials. That's a feat because I'm easily paralyzed by too many options or equal options (another recent self-discovery). Seeing all the different tools I could use to stir noodles was overwhelming. But I learned to remind myself whether or not the decision actually mattered, and if it didn't it was OK to blindly choose one and move on, or I'd defer to FH who was blessed with plenty of decision. After that breakthrough, it was way easier.
It's been interesting to see my taste emerge. Turns out I like very simple "building block" pieces (ie furniture, dishes) so that they can go with anything else I decide to bring home when my fancies change. It's much easier to change out dishtowels on a whim than a couch. No crazy dishes with spots and flowers for me. I feel that anything with too-specific a color palette or design will limit my other decor options.
But sometimes I can get carried away with simplicity; if I didn't have FH to remind me to have variety, I'd get everything in neutrals and forget I can use patterns and details. Case in point: wedding announcements. If I designed them all by myself, they'd be white cards with black Calibri text. Maybe a plain, single-color line border. Thankfully, I had FH to override my boring-ness and infuse a little personality into the project. Don't get too excited, they're still pretty simple. But I like them, and they fit us.
