An aside

I haven't written in a while because frankly, I didn't feel like it.  The balance of March was crazy in a mostly-awful way, and I don't really want to talk about it.

I try to keep things light on here and I recognize I rarely discuss deeply personal or emotional things.  Once in a while I write about things I find profound, but those reveal more about what and how I think than what I feel or do.  It's just not my style to talk about personal things in a public venue.  Or even a not-so-public venue.  I'm more of a "if I think it's your business I'll volunteer the information one-on-one" kind of person.  This may seem surprising since I come off as a friendly and outgoing person, but if you pay attention I am not revealing a whole lot even when I'm talking a lot.  Content is not proportional to volume.

Besides not sharing things because I don't think they're everyone's business, I partly feel I don't want to come off as trying to receive validation for my situation by placing it in a public forum.  And strong (especially emotional) reactions-- positive or negative-- from people not involved in a given situation makes me uncomfortable.  I don't know why.  It just does.  Also, when too many get involved in what's going on, it's harder to me to be self-aware that I'm doing what I feel is right vs. what is expected/desired by everyone else.  I gain strength of resolve through limiting spectators.

I'm also careful because this is a public blog and I don't know what weirdos could be reading it.  I usually keep details or names purposefully vague for that reason.  If you're a creepy stalker, I don't want to feed you information.  If you're a random reader, it doesn't matter who the people are since you don't know them anyway.  If you do know me, chances are you know the details via some other communication if they're relevant to you.

There's always that argument that "people just care about you so it's OK to let them know what's going on".  But if people really care about me, my reasoning is that they will respect the way I handle myself and won't ask me to go about sharing things I'm not comfortable sharing with everyone.  Don't worry that I'm, like, covering up for illegal acts or something.  I'm not even keeping secrets.  I'm just private and judicious in my dissemination of information.  What I'm not telling is just as often happy things as stressful.

One thing you may appreciate as a result of this information is once you understand that if I do tell you something that seems personal and significant, it's because I choose for you to know it, and I must think it's important for you to know.  So please spread use the information respectfully. I recognize that by default extension, I'm also choosing your circle of acquaintance to know because word will inevitably spread.  If I wanted to keep something on the DL, I just wouldn't tell.

Ok, that's all I wanted to say.  This isn't a response to any one situation in particular, but conclusions drawn from a lot personal reflection spurred by my experiences over the last five weeks.

By the way, I foresee a bit more activity on this ol' blog in the future, because I decided there are a couple of things I do want to talk about.  Stay tuned.