Saturday, November 30, 2013

I'm going to educate you

I'm a little disappointed nobody actually answered the question, except for the two who just asked another question in turn (namely, "You're head is missing?" and "You've gained some weight?").

Guys, the answer to my question should be yes.

And by golly, why shouldn't I look different?  I've been working for every inch.  It's disheartening to be steamrolled by those who think they are doing me a favor by discounting my size when they are really making me feel like there is something wrong, or like I am some kind of wimp for feeling large and tired but only producing small results, or I'm flat out lying about being pregnant.

FACT: the 26 week gestation baby inside the woman who looks ready to give birth is just as large as the baby inside the woman who looks like she's doing a poor job hiding a football under her shirt.  And both women are uncomfortable.

Just like you should never ask a woman if she's pregnant, don't ever comment on her size (after her pregnancy is independently or voluntarily confirmed, of course).  No matter her size or gestation, 99% of the time you'll sound like a douche-bag to her when presumably you don't mean to. Err on the side of telling her you're happy for her and hope everything is healthy.

No matter how it looks from the outside, carrying a practicing human in the uterus is uncomfortable at every stage, so give all pregnant women credit for what they are accomplishing.  At the end of the day, they are making people with their bodies and everyone else is not.

For all other questions people need to stop asking, this article sums many up nicely.

Now that I've preemptively returned the favor of giving unsolicited advice, your reward for reading it, i.e. answers to the questions I know you wanted to ask:

  • Due date: March 8, aka 26 weeks gestation
  • Baby's sex unknown by choice.  Yes, this was a rational decision.  No, I have neither a suspicion nor a preference if it's a male or female. No, I don't have a problem calling Baby "it".
  • Yes, both of us are healthy.
  • Yes, husband and I are excited.
  • Yes, Baby moves a lot. Within the last week it can reach my ribs when I'm seated.
  • Yes, we have several names lined up.  I'm not sharing here but you can ask if you see me.
  • Yes, I'll take maternity leave from work, but no I don't know what I'll do afterward.
  • No, I'm not sick anymore.
  • I'm 21 weeks in the blue-dress picture.  I have a more recent picture but it looks like a prison photo.  Since I'm not in the habit of publicly distributing ugly pictures of myself, if you want to know what I look like, look at the blue dress picture and imagine me slightly bigger.
  • Sadly, the basil is dead.  It was a seasonal plant, anyway....
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